reviews (a review)

An incomplete list of places that have asked me to fill out a customer satisfaction survey or write an online review in the past 6 months: Best Buy, the grocery store, the vet clinic, Lowe's, practically every restaurant under the sun, the car dealership where I get my oil changed (like, every damn time Bergstrom--do you seriously require a review of your service every single time I show up?), the electric utility, Outagamie County, the insurance company at the end of my call, hotels (both after I book a stay and after I've stayed), my health care provider, the website I used to purchase a gift, Public Radio, Netflix (bless, they only ask for a thumbs up or thumbs down), the postal service, Chase Bank, Quince, KEEN, Etsy sellers, Amtrak, every app on my phone, Title Nine, Eddie Bauer, Verizon, Spectrum.

EVERYONE wants us to "take a few minutes" and tell them how they did. It's honestly exhausting when people constantly demand feedback, like, how much validation do you need to carry on with your day?

As much as I resent being asked for them, I'm guilty of using reviews to decide what to buy or use. When deciding what size sweater to order off the Title Nine website, for example, I appreciate an objective, factual review along the lines of Washed up nicely, no pilling. True to size, I'm 5'6" curvy 160 pounds and the medium was perfect. Color was exactly as I expected. A Facebook page called Fox Valley Restaurant Reviews persuades me to hit or miss local establishments based on what people post about the quality of their food, drinks, service, and ambiance. Let's face it, there's nothing better than a detailed rundown of the facts in a review. Tell me how easy that table was to assemble, how clean and quiet your hotel room was, how durable you found that garden hoe, how many times you dropped those sunglasses yet they never even chipped--I'm all ears!

(Seriously, do you know anyone who'll book a hotel room with a rating lower than 4 stars?)

Unfortunately, a lot of the reviews I'm asked to fill out are poorly designed and don't ask questions that provide any useful feedback, or I believe they're pointless to fill out because heavy hitters (I'm looking at YOU, Chase Bank and UMR) won't change anything because of what my opinion.

And then there's the other type of reviews we leave, the subjective kind. You ever wonder why one man's rating of 12 on Rotten Tomatoes is another man's 100? Subjectivity, friend. My book club has selected countless books because "Goodreads shows a 4.2" yet we've hated the book and absolutely savaged it in discussion. What did we miss in the Goodreads review? Ah, the fact that there's particular types of readers for particular types of books and we aren't those readers. Writing is art and art is subjective. The reviewers are just giving an opinion about whether or not they enjoyed a story. A big part of sharing reviews on places like Goodreads and Amazon and Bookbub and Barnes and Noble is participating in a larger discussion about the work, sort of a giant online book club.

And I've discovered that not all reviewers approach writing their reviews in the same way. I've spoken to people who are gobsmacked by the idea of anyone leaving less than 5 stars. A fellow bibliophile has told me she only gives out 10 5-star reviews, and if she reads a new book that earns all 5 stars, she reshuffles the list, knocking off a less worthy title. There's a certain purity to her system, and a real avoidance of any grade inflation as she grades her reading on a curve! Some reviewers are picky, demanding fidelity to the promise the author made to their audience, some reviewers are so nasty you have to wonder if they like anything at all. Sometimes a book hits with a reader because of the time in life they're reading it, or because of their life experience. Sometimes a book misses for exactly those reasons, too. True story: When I hate a book, I like to read other people's bad reviews to see if they hated it for the same reasons I did. It's a private little mean girl moment, I'll read something like "I’m appalled this has gotten the acclaim and attention it has. Like, I do not understand how anyone can see this book as something other than a pretentious, obnoxious book written by a woman with few writing skills." and I'll think SAME, GIRLFRIEND! and give the reviewer a mental fist bump. It's a little solidarity, right? And sometimes I'll finish a book and not be quite able to sort out my reaction to it. Reading other people's reviews helps pinpoint elements that contributed to my reaction.

Last year I added the Storygraph app to my phone because I was curious about how many books I actually did read in a year and I committed to finding out by logging every book. I quickly fell in love with Storygraph's review features because instead of just asking for stars and providing a blank space, they prompt the reviewer with questions about whether the book was plot or character-driven, if there was strong character development, if the characters were lovable and diverse, and whether the characters' flaws were a main focus of the story. These questions are pretty subjective, and force reviewers to consider specific reasons for rating a book. Because I'm using Storygraph for personal reasons, I give really honest reviews on it.

Wait a minute. Are you suggesting you give dishonest reviews in other places?

Kind of. As a writer, I'm very aware of the money and influence certain publishers wield, and the Big Five can damn well afford to invest in good editing, so when they publish books riddled with errors, I'll leave a harsher review than if the book was published by an indie press with less money (although truth be told, I'm finding many indie presses put out better quality reads than the Big Five do). I consider who the writer is and their intended audience. I'm not a big memoir fan, for example, so if I read a memoir and I don't care for it, I force myself to step back and consider the work through a more objective lens. Would this book appeal to memoir readers? Why or why not? Did the writer give a bigger context beyond their own personal experience? Is there some universality to their story? I factor in whether someone's a big-name writer, a brand-new writer, how the work stacks up against other books in the genre. And, I consider how well I personally know the writer. So, yeah, a lot goes into my reviews besides my gut reactions.

I always wait at least one day after finishing a book before I write a review, mainly to allow time for perspective. I try to provide specific, objective reasons for why I like or don't like a book. I do my best to acknowledge tropes the writer used and my bias for or against them before I review a book.

Sometimes, because if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all, I won't post any review of what I read. I skew toward writing positive reviews, for that reason.

But here's the thing: Writers NEED your reviews. They need them more than the grocery store or the bank or Verizon or Hilton does.

Fact: Online reviews boost a book's exposure. More reviews = more visibility with the "also bought/read/recommend" algorithm every single website uses. Some sites won't even let authors offer book deals if they don't have enough reviews. Those reviews, even just the stars with a single sentence, are HUGE. They matter a TON.

Spill it, reader. What's your approach to writing reviews? Do you read them when deciding what to read next? And HEY, if you've read my books and didn't pop over to leave a review somewhere like Goodreads or Bookbub, feel free to skip leaving a comment and go leave me some reviews!