Ah, the algorithm. The bane of everyone's online existence. They're supposed to guide us to better things but they're as useless as a leaf blower in a hurricane. (I had a savage political burn teed up there, but I'm trying to be kinder and gentler.) Even when I diligently click "like" and "dislike" and "block" and "stop suggesting" my feed is loaded with crap I hate or pure and utter nonsense. I'm not talking about posts from friends. Those I can generously ignore, although some of you are a little obsessive with your pet posts. There's a limit to how many cat pictures I'm willing to indulge in (and I share my house with 2 cats). The ads and suggested pages the broligarchs toss into the mix so they can make their billions are laughably missing the mark. Ads and suggested pages are supposed to target users who match in some way--like, if someone has a new baby, they should get ads for diapers and teething rings. That's how algorithms are supposed to work. But I'm convinced they don't.
I'm convinced they don't work because after I make an online purchase, my feed is immediately flooded with advertising FOR THE ITEM I JUST PURCHASED. How does that make any sense? The likelihood of me buying another pair of Levi's within hours, days, even months of buying a pair is near zero. Maybe repeat advertising makes sense for consumable goods, like a cup of coffee or a tube of hand cream. But no, Internet, I'm not buying another furnace filter after purchasing a 2-pack from AprilAire's website.
Even when my profile includes useful nuggets of data about the type of person I am (graduated from UW-Stevens Point and UW-Madison, for example), I get ridiculously unrelated spam in my feed. For no apparent reason I'm inundated with stuff about Michigan and the Detriot Lions. Seriously, this is the first time I've ever typed the words "Detroit Lions" on a keyboard, yet for a year I've been hammered with posts from I Grew Up In Michigan, Michigan Diehards, Detroit Lions Fans, Detroit Lions Fan Group, Roar Roundup, Pride of Detroit Michigan Family Destinations, The Rust Belt Market, Nostalgic Michigan. There's no logic to this. I've never lived in Michigan, I've never been to Detroit, and the last time I visited Michigan I didn't check in! I've never written a single character who is a Lions fan, however I've written about a few Trail Blazers fans, yet my feed never suggests the Trail Blazers. WHY?
My algorithm IS under the impression that I'm interested in: weight loss, before-and-after weight loss stories, craft supplies, buying crafts, making crafts, sewing projects, healthy recipes, recipes with low fat alternatives, wrinkle-proofing my skin, Randy Savage, diet drinks, diet shakes, diet pills, diet plans, hydration therapy for my skin, UFC matches, horror movies, a car dealership in Ohio, a restaurant in Texas, shoes, handbags, jewelry, vintage scoreboards, country music, collectable football cards, throw pillows, eyeglasses, wrestlemania, area rugs, candles, prescription medications (!), and cruises.
Anyone who knows me knows I'm not interested in ANYTHING on that list. I plan to go on zero Carnival cruises, I will buy zero cars in Ohio, I use zero weight loss programs. I accept my wrinkles and my natural hair color, I don't wear much jewelry, I rarely buy decorative items for my home, I don't do crafts. The algorithm might be forgiven for mistaking me for a UFC fan since my offspring occasionally invite friends over to watch pay per view events on accounts under my name, but if the algorithm paid attention they'd know I spent more hours watching programming on PBS.
If the algorithms worked, ads and suggested pages in my feed would hit my sweet spot. I'd see ads for restaurants within a 50 mile radius of my home address, for example. The advertising would involve products I am interested in purchasing, like bird seed, coffee, garden seeds, murder mysteries--heck, books in general!, flower bulbs, wool socks. The suggested pages would involve topics I am entertained by or interested in. Meta's broligarch should know that I always click on videos involving underwater experiences and I'm weirdly obsessed with disaster reels, especially tsunamis and shark encounters. Also good: surfing, waves, public libraries, art museums, anything travel-related, menopause humor, satire, environmental issues, hiking trails, wildlife photos, school/education humor, abandoned places, and history. What's the point of all that data collection if they don't put it to any good purpose?
No amount of positive or negative reinforcement seems to influence my feed. Clicking "block" and "suggest less" has proved as futile as yelling "PERSON! PERSON! PERSON!" while on hold with my health insurance company. Ultimately I just end up with robots asking the same dumb questions and offering the same useless information.
Spill it, reader. Misery loves company, so let's commiserate. Share the most ridiculous/unwanted/misdirected advertisement or suggested page you've seen in your social media feed and tell us why it's the worst.
And don't forget to contact your elected reps and tell them how they're doing!
Look, I try really hard to keep the Daisy content to her instagram page, but sometimes she spills over into all of my other accounts. Not sorry. She's part of my sanity right now. As a family, we share a few accounts, like our music streaming subscription. Screwing up the algorithm for everyone is among my favorite things to do. Cannot recommend it enough. 😉
I am now mostly working in social media: consulting with clients and managing their feeds. I definitely don't advise all of my clients to pay for boosted posts. For a couple of my clients, I think they are a good idea for their specific goals, but I'm strategic about suggesting it and how it's implemented. For myself personally I don't see myself doing it.
As for the algorithms, F*ceb**k and Inst*gr*m are a mess and have been for a while. At this point, I am wondering if spending any time engaging in any way, including blocking, tells M*ta that we love that content and want to see more, more, more. It is infuriating. I'm advising my clients to ignore the…